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Do People Think You're Going #2? A Common Shy Bladder Fear
If you have shy bladder syndrome (paruresis), here’s a question you may have asked yourself.
If I sit down in a public restroom to pee, do people think I’m in here going number two?
It might sound like an odd question to someone who has never experienced shy bladder.
But for many people with paruresis, it’s a very real concern.
The Invisible Conversation
Recently, I came across someone describing exactly this.
They preferred sitting down in a public restroom because they were worried someone might hear their urine stream.
But then another thought appeared.
“Now everyone probably thinks I’m in here going number two.”
I remember having thoughts like that too.
When we live with shy bladder, our attention often becomes intensely focused on what’s happening around us.
Who’s in the restroom?
Can they hear me?
What are they thinking?
What are they assuming about me?
It’s exhausting.
Are People Really Paying That Much Attention?
Over time, I started to notice something.
Most people aren’t trying to figure out why you’re in a stall.
They’re thinking about getting back to work.
They’re catching a flight.
They’re checking their phone.
They’re wondering what they need to pick up at the grocery store.
In other words…
They’re living their own lives.
We Become the Center of Our Own Story
One of the things shy bladder does so well is convince us that other people are paying as much attention to us as we are.
From the inside, it feels completely believable.
But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true.
Our minds become so focused on ourselves that it starts to feel like everyone else is focused on us too.
Most of the time…
They aren’t.
One Less Thing to Carry
For me, seeing this wasn’t about convincing myself that no one would ever notice me.
It was realizing that I didn’t have to carry around one more imagined burden.
Maybe I don’t have to wonder what everyone else is thinking.
Maybe I don’t have to explain why I’m using a stall.
Maybe I don’t have to solve a problem that probably doesn’t exist.
And maybe…
That’s one more thing I don’t have to carry around with me.
Watch the Video
In this short video, I talk about one of the surprisingly common thoughts people with shy bladder experience and why I eventually realized most people simply aren’t paying as much attention to us as we imagine.
Want to Learn More?
If you’ve lived with shy bladder syndrome (paruresis), I want you to know you’re not alone.
You can find more videos and resources here on my website.
If you’d like to talk about your own experience, I’d be happy to meet with you for a complimentary conversation.
Educational Notice: The information shared here is for educational and personal development purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, counseling, psychological care, or medical advice. If you have a medical or mental health condition, please seek the guidance of an appropriately licensed healthcare professional.