Have you ever been with another human being and realized that they were not present? Perhaps they were glancing at their mobile phone, or looking around while they were talking with you, or even blatantly asking you to repeat what you said? You KNOW it when another person is not present with you. Conversely, other people know when YOU are not present with them.
We become mentally distracted when we innocently start thinking about things that happened in the past or about things that have not happened yet in the future. Have you ever had anyone say “What you’re telling me is similar to X…”? If we are comparing what we are hearing to something else, this means we are not present. We are thinking back to the past, and then filtering what we are hearing, comparing it to that past something. While this is not good, nor bad, it does mean that we are not present when we are in comparing mode. It means we are analyzing and judging while we are taking in what the other person is saying. And often we do this to prepare how we are going to respond.
When we are truly present with another human being, it is a gift for both people. Being present allows one to be WITH that person and hear what they are saying through an unfiltered lens. To connect human to human. It is coming from a place of pure curiosity. It is coming from a state of mind that is filled with love.
One way I’ve learned to be a more present is to listen to someone like I am listening to music. When we listen to music we don’t judge or analyze the music. We just listen to enjoy the experience.
And when I find my thoughts drifting, which they can certainly do, I have learned to simply notice them. And that brings me back to the present.
How do you stay present with another person?
