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Have you ever walked into a public restroom, realized someone was already inside, and decided to wait?

I used to do that all the time.

Sometimes I’d pretend I was just washing my hands.

I’d wash them…

Dry them…

Maybe even wash them again.

Other times, I’d step back outside and pretend to take a phone call.

Not because anyone cared what I was doing.

But because I didn’t want it to look like I was waiting for the restroom to empty.

Looking back, I realize I wasn’t really waiting for the restroom to be empty.

I was waiting to feel certain I’d be able to go.

At the time, it seemed like a perfectly reasonable strategy. If I could just get the restroom to myself, everything would be easier.

Sometimes it worked.

Sometimes it didn’t.

But what I remember most is how much energy I spent trying to manage the situation instead of simply living my life.

If you’ve ever found yourself doing something similar, I want you to know you’re not strange.

You’re certainly not the only one.

Many people living with shy bladder syndrome (paruresis) have developed little coping strategies like these over the years. They’re often so automatic that we don’t even think about them anymore.

For me, pretending to wash my hands or take a phone call wasn’t really about clean hands or returning a call.

It was about trying to create the “perfect” moment.

Looking back, I realize I spent a lot of time waiting for certainty.

And certainty almost never came.

If this story sounds familiar, I hope it helps you realize something important:

You’re not alone.

I did it too.