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If you’ve lived with shy bladder syndrome (paruresis) for any length of time, you’ve probably become very familiar with two little words:

What if…

What if someone walks in?

What if I can’t go?

What if they notice?

What if they can hear me?

What if it’s too quiet?

What if it’s too crowded?

For years, I lived in that world.

It seemed like every time I answered one “what if,” my mind would come up with another one.

Looking back, I realized I was spending a lot of time living in stories about what might happen instead of noticing what was actually happening.

Then something interesting began to change.

I started noticing the stories.

Not trying to stop them.

Not trying to replace them with positive thoughts.

Just noticing them.

For me, that simple shift made a real difference.

Instead of getting caught up in every “what if,” I found myself becoming more aware that they were simply thoughts about the future, not necessarily reality.

If this sounds familiar, you don’t have to judge yourself for it.

Just notice.

Notice how creative the mind can be.

Notice how quickly one “what if” can turn into another.

You don’t have to fight those thoughts.

Sometimes simply noticing them is enough to begin seeing them differently.